Q: My wife and I have been blessed with eight children. We thank God for the gift of strong faith and a wonderful marriage. We are a homeschooling family, and my wife is at home full time, so, as you might expect, finances are always tight. Do you have any suggestions that will help us more effectively make ends meet?

A: God bless you for living out family life in such a generous way. In our materialistic society where two-income marriages and fewer than two children per family are promoted as the norm, it can be an incredible challenge to raise a large family on one income. Yet I see families across the country reaching the conclusion that to form their children properly, having mom home full-time is critical. I don’t want to add pressure to those families where the wife needs to work to make ends meet. I have counseled couples where the wife would like nothing more than to stay home, but, at least for a period of time, it has been necessary for her to work to put food on the table. In many situations, however, with discipline and sacrifice, it is possible to meet your family’s needs on one income. Here are some suggestions (many from large families) that will help you raise your flock.

The most important suggestion I can give is to determine whose "value system" you will follow when it comes to your finances. Even though it appears you are already applying this first step, it is critical to managing your money properly, so I want to emphasize it. Too many "good Christians" follow the materialistic way of our society because they haven’t applied the Gospel teaching to their finances. Take the time to sit down with your wife and go through our Lord’s teachings together to form a common vision for how you will make financial decisions in your home. Choosing to keep God first and a willingness to live simply will be key to making ends meet. I recently received a letter from a woman whose husband had done exactly this and here is what she had to say:

My husband and I have been married just over a year and were excited about starting a family right away. Neither of us had a large amount of savings and both of us had school and credit card debts, so I was convinced that I would have to work at least part time after the baby to make things work. My husband was convinced otherwise. He used your worksheets after we both read your workbook together, which was really helpful, (especially the questions). He proved to me that I could be a full-time homemaker. Our daughter is two months old now and I couldn’t be happier. It isn’t easy, especially living in the ultra-expensive Washington, D.C., area, but it is so worth it. We are encouraging all our young couple friends to go through this same process right away."

Do you see how this young couple took the time to develop their common vision? Once they agreed on the objective of her staying home, the practical issues were handled much more easily.

You’ve already shown your generous spirit by having a large family. Another way for you to practice generosity is through tithing and almsgiving. Even though it may be difficult at times, you’ll experience wonderful spiritual fruits from this charitable practice. One couple recently shared how they couldn’t think of any one thing which had done more to improve their relationship with God than tithing. The phrase "Our Father" took on a whole new meaning as they learned to trust in Divine Providence.

Learn to appreciate our Lord’s call for us to be detached from worldly goods. So many people search for happiness in material things, only to be disappointed, because every purchase eventually loses its luster. Our Lord’s creation is good, and we are called to use it for His greater glory, but it can’t become our ultimate objective or God will be relegated to second place.

Here are some specific suggestions that can help stretch your resources
Avoid consumer debt. Interest charges on credit cards and other forms of consumer credit take vital funds away from your family. If you use credit cards, pay them off every month. If you are already in debt, work out a plan to get out now!

Smart shopping is a key to stretching your budget. Most businesses require three bids when making any substantial purchase. Whether you’re buying a house, insurance, or your weekly groceries, taking the time to comparison shop can save big bucks. In addition, don’t overlook the savings you can achieve by purchasing used goods. I’m on the Board of Directors of our local crisis pregnancy center, and we have a thrift shop which supports the center. When we buy from the thrift shop, I’m receiving a good value and helping.

Promote the culture of life!
Housing is typically the most substantial portion of a family’s budget. Too frequently I see couples overextend themselves on their "dream" home, causing a great deal of pressure and anxiety because there just isn’t enough left to meet their other needs. When making a housing decision, don’t wait for the bank to tell you the size of loan you can qualify for. Develop a realistic budget, take it to the bank, and show them what you can afford. Also keep in mind that it always pays to keep an eye on interest rates. Depending on the circumstances, refinancing your home can be a simple way to save some money.

Transportation costs are substantial for most families. Are two cars truly a necessity? Are automobiles a hobby for you that take up an inordinate amount of time and money from the family? If you financed or leased your car, the interest is costing much more than you think. Save up so the next time you can pay cash.

How many tasks do you pay to have done which, with a little effort and know-how, you could do yourself? Changing oil in the cars, winterizing the home, using cloth diapers, cutting childrens hair, mowing the lawn, sewing clothes, and learning how to do simple home repairs all offer great opportunities for the family to stretch its budget. We have friends who actually built their own home, saving a bundle, although I wouldn’t recommend this for everyone!

Do you find yourselves eating out frequently? Even an inexpensive outing every few weeks may be too much for most large families. When grocery shopping, do you purchase cereal, cookies, soda, chips, frozen dinners, and other prepared foods? While there are times when this may be necessary, it is a very expensive option. Purchasing staples in bulk, baking your own bread, canning, and gardening all offer healthy and inexpensive ways to feed the family.

When it comes to entertainment and recreation, much that our society offers is not only expensive, but artificial, and not really all that healthy for the family. Look for free or inexpensive ways to relax with your family. The key to family recreation is making time for each other, and the following suggestions help you do that. Taking walks or riding bikes, playing ball in the yard, and picnicking are all free and offer great family fun. I’ve found that the field trips our homeschool group offers are a great way for me to be involved with my kids. We’ve visited factories and museums and gone apple-picking in the fall. There is no end to the possibilities.

Here’s one final thought. While I know a lot of pressure falls on dad to provide for the family, often in the effort to reduce spending, our wives are put in a position of having to do more and more in the home to keep up. My wife has a mentor who raised a large family in the fifties and sixties. Money was always tight, and she often found herself crying at the sink while doing dishes due to the overwhelming stress of managing all that had to be done, and she wasn’t homeschooling. Most homeschooling moms I know are stretching themselves to the limit for their families. Be there with an encouraging word and a helping hand. When it comes to finances and a large family, teamwork and perseverance will get you through many difficult times as we continue this work of raising saints for our Lord.