Over the last two years, I've had the privilege of visiting with a number of families on the subject of their finances. Based on statistics, I knew that Americans as a whole were doing a dismal job of managing their money, but I thought that families grounded in the faith would be less likely to be dealing with issues of overspending, misuse of credit cards and lack of savings. I was mistaken! Because of our consumer based society and the easy availability of credit, large numbers of devout Catholic families are dealing with these same problems.

I've seen some wonderful success stories over the last two years as a result of sharing the principles on finances that we find in Sacred Scripture and the Teaching and Tradition of the Catholic Church. Many families have begun tithing, eliminated or reduced consumer debt, started budgeting for the first time in their lives and rearranged their spending to more closely follow these principles.

At the same time, other families struggle to apply these principles practically in their own lives. Why do some families have great success while others have difficulty? Most of the families who contact me are experiencing some kind of financial problem, and they are looking for help "with the numbers." What they may not realize is that while they truly need financial help, the root issues frequently are spiritual in nature. The money issues are only a symptom - these families end up being surprised that how we handle our finances is an outside indicator of our interior life.

As we deal with the issue of why families have different degrees of success, I'd like to draw on the parable of the sower that we find in Matthew 13:3-23. I'm sure you remember the story that includes the sower (our Lord), the seed (His word) and the soil (us).

Our Lord describes three types of soil that are unable to generate a yield. It's the same with the families I visit. In the first case, seeds fall on a path and the birds come and immediately eat it. Unfortunately, in this situation, the word never takes hold. These families are not yet solid in the faith and are not prepared to submit their finances to the Kingship of Christ. They may need financial counseling, but they are typically looking through worldly glasses and prefer a message of wealth and prosperity to the message of Gospel charity.

In the second case, the seed lands on rocky ground. Since the soil has no depth, the roots are very shallow. This soil represents those who hear the word and receive it immediately with joy. Yet, because their roots are weak, they can only endure for a while. I would liken the seed that falls on the rocky ground to families who initially get excited about turning their finances over to Christ. However, when they see the discipline that is required, they find themselves falling short. This lack of discipline may be in the area of maintaining a budget, tracking expenses, checkbook management, or reconciling bank accounts.

In the third scenario, seed lands among thorns. These people hear the word, but the cares of the world and the delight of riches choke it and make it unfruitful. This reminds me of couples who are dealing with any number of sensitive areas within their marriage. Examples include poor communication, spousal control issues, and addictive behaviors such as compulsive spending habits or even worse, addictions to drugs, alcohol or gambling.

Each of these cases has a common thread running through it. To one degree or another, the couple has not been willing to submit their lives and family finances to the Kingship of Christ.

This calls to mind the story of one young couple which illustrates how critical it is to address the spiritual issues, which may be at the root of the problem. As we began to go through their budget worksheet, it was clear that communication over money matters was not their strongest suit. Invisible arrows were being shot back and forth, and as I ducked, I felt more like a referee than a counselor! He was frustrated at how much money she spent on clothing, and she angrily reminded him of how much he wasted on his hobbies (old cars). They were each fighting for a position of control. What they hadn't realized, is that all we have belongs to God, and that He needs to be in control. Our resources are not to be "His" and "Hers," but God's. It is our duty to be faithful stewards with what He has given us. Because this young couple was not ready to give up their struggle for control, I was unable to be any further help.

We should not be surprised by weaknesses of discipline in finances or any other problems in marriage. The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that due to our sinful nature, we will have these struggles (1607). It is how we handle these issues that is important. We need to remember that it is through God's grace and our cooperation with that grace that these very difficult situations can be dealt with. The Catechism says it this way, "To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them."

If you find yourself relating to the "poor soil," don't despair. Remember that St. Paul had a thorn to deal with and asked God three times to take it away, but our Lord responded, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Just as in St. Paul's case, you may continue to have to struggle with these weaknesses. Pray for the grace necessary so that you can become the good soil with a yield of a hundred fold. God love you!